Some may call it ignorance, some arrogance or self-importance. Some may even call it fascism. I call it defense mechanism. Simply because I know better. At all times. That's of course not to say you can not try to convince me otherwise. But the very split of a second I sense a glimpse of a persuasive or worse, brainwashing attempt, you've had it. Red lights go off and, should I find it worth the effort, the barrel of the gun is in your face. But most of the time, I'll turn around and never talk to you again. So, published by what I see as the fullest-of-full-of-shit video game companies, where has 'Dark Void' found its place?
Dark Void [PC] [Airtight Games] [2010]
what's hit?
Having been far aloof from getting too horny about it before there's something touchable around, I got my hands on the demo the other day. And I thought, hold on just a minute, this is not at all bad! I mean, what can be actually bad on 'Gears of War' meets 'Rocketeer' action? How can an absolutely seamless combination of earth-bound 3rd person shoot-n-cover mayhem taken anytime at player's will into an aerial riot grow into being wrong? How can a game that lets you shoot and melee your opponents on the ground the coolest of ways seen while hijack UFOs mid-air in what effectively is the same battle arena, be boring? For heaven's sake, how can you fuck up a game starring Nicola Tesla?
what's shit?
It's quite simple. Fairly easily as it turns out. And if it's what you're looking for, almost everything and a lot more "everything" than "almost" would be an even simpler answer to that. It all sounds GREAT. Until you play it. An initial struggle with the utterly confusing controls is shortly replaced by tediousness and meaninglessness of it, well, all. Fresh ideas are scarce, the game is one disorientating mess where none of the characters is helping it by not even bothering to explain anything, the graphics are rubbish even to last decade's (hey, I can say "decade's" now!) standards and their nVidia PhysX extensions having absolutely no purpose other than themselves, are barely a redeemer. Moreover, you will seriously have to keep your eyes peeled for them. And the "story (telling)"? More like, "sorry (telling)". If you absolutely must, play the demo. Then forget it.
what's it?
Having zero, nill, downright nothing I would want to call "the best", weirdly, none of the above points out "the worst" thing about 'Dark Void'. Like nausea-inducing bore when you play and head-shakingly stupid and soulless man trying to be funny with an even more stupid and soulless woman when you watch, "peppered" with wooden animations, lemon-smeared-in-eye post-over-processed graphics and (below, actually) zero replayability wasn't enough. Nope. Like that jet-packed what's-his-face guy in the game, it launches me high to the carmine red skies of blind irresponsible fury and almost agonizing necessity to scream. Not only does this game give me an itchy feeling of trying to rape me before it actually starts using the usual videogame means to appeal, in which it in the very end fails pretty badly. But quite frankly, I find the "fails" bit the less important one.
SCORE: 3/10
0 comments:
Post a Comment